


Commander, Commander!    (or: Erwin Smith Through the Looking Glass)

by Cherry



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Crack, M/M, Magic dick!Erwin, Mention of a whole lot of sex acts and some actual ones., Multi, Swapping worlds, is that a thing?, regular!Erwin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-14 11:58:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1265683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherry/pseuds/Cherry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just after Eren's trial and the Battle of Trost, in the old Survey Corps HQ, Erwin Smith wakes up one morning to find himself in a world at once familiar and yet deeply disturbing. Meanwhile, his other-world counterpart wakes up in a surprisingly neat, clean bed, and doesn't understand why no one seems to want him today. </p><p>The world of death and titans collides with the world of gratuitous sex. Pure crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Awakening

Erwin woke with a start. The bright sunlight shafting though the cracks in the shutters, told him that, since the sun didn’t clear the top of the wall until half past eleven, it must be almost noon. What on earth was the matter with him? Was he going down with something?

Jumping out of bed, and cursing quietly at the familiar pain in his lower back when he moved too fast without warming up properly, Erwin went to the washstand and splashed cold water on his face. He didn’t feel ill – he had no temperature or sore throat - and he was at a loss to understand why someone hadn’t woken him by now. He’d already missed a meeting, and a mountain of paperwork was waiting which he’d been planning to polish off by ten. Now he’d barely have time to make a start before lunch and afternoon training.

Rubbing sleep from his eyes, he washed quickly, and was pulling on his pants, which for some inexplicable reason he’d found on the floor by the bed, when Zoe Hange burst into his room without making any attempt to knock. He was about to reprimand her, but when he saw her wild expression and dishevelled hair, he grabbed a clean shirt from the closet and pulled it on, readying himself for whatever action needed to be taken. “What’s wrong?” he asked, trying to hide his alarm. “Don’t tell me there’s been a wall breach?”

Zoe closed the door and locked it behind her. “Not yet,” she said, tossing her head strangely and running her tongue over her lower lip. For some reason she was unfastening the top button of her shirt. No – the top two buttons. With dawning horror, it occurred to Erwin that she wasn’t going to stop there. “I have an _urgent_ request, Erwin!” she said in an odd, growling voice that made the hairs on the back of Erwin’s neck stand up in sheer fright.

“Good God!” Erwin exclaimed, wondering what she meant by the walls not having been breached ‘yet’ – “What is it? What -?”

Zoe crossed the room to him almost at a run, and seized the front of his shirt. “I need to experiment on your titan!” she cried, grabbing his crotch without further preamble.

Erwin was too stunned to speak. Zoe let go of him abruptly, a look of surprised consternation on her face. Erwin was worried for her, but couldn’t help feeling a bit relieved that she only seemed to have been suffering from a brief temporary insanity.

“Oh Erwin!” Zoe wailed, gazing up at him tragically, “Whatever’s wrong? Are you ill? You’re not even _hard_!”

“Wha – uh – I - _I’m_ not ill!” Erwin stammered, although he was beginning to wonder. Perhaps he had a fever after all, and this was all some kind of horrible hallucination? “Report to medical, Hange. You’re either drunk or delirious. Get checked over, and we – we’ll pretend this never happened.”

Zoe stared at him for a moment, and then shook her head sympathetically. “Oh – yes – I get it. All right, Erwin. I suppose you had a busy night, huh? And I guess _that_ –” Zoe stared pointedly at Erwin’s crotch – “must happen even to you, sometimes. I’ll come back later.”

Before Erwin could tell her not to do that under any circumstances, Zoe had departed with a rather subdued wave, the door banging shut behind her. Erwin was tempted to lock it again, but settled for leaning against it for a moment, wondering what to do. Was this a joke? Zoe had always been one to let her enthusiasms run away with her, but Erwin had considered that to be part of her rather endearing eccentricity rather than any sign of serious instability. Perhaps she’d just been working too hard? The sensible thing to do would be to have a tactful word with Moblit, who probably knew Zoe better than anyone. He could ask the eminently sensible lieutenant about Zoe’s behaviour in general, without having to go into any of the gruesome details of what he’d just experienced. Yes – that was the best course of action.

Mind made up, Erwin dressed quickly, annoyed when he had to hunt for his boots. He found the right one under the bed, where there seemed to be a surprising amount of dust, but the other was missing. As he searched for it, it occurred to Erwin that there was a strange, musty smell in the room that seemed to be coming from the bed. Pulling back the covers, Erwin physically recoiled from the state of the sheets, which looked as though they’d been party to some unspeakable orgy. And there was his left boot, lying in the middle of the mattress.

Erwin pulled on his boot gingerly, frowning, and went to fling open the shutters and the window to air the room. His only memory of the previous evening was retiring to bed – a nice, clean bed – at the usual time, after an exasperating day mostly spent training, and then quizzing the quartermaster about some missing grain supplies that eventually turned out to have been misdirected. He’d gone to bed tired but relieved that he’d found no evidence of corruption in the Survey Corps. He certainly hadn’t done anything to leave his sheets in this disgusting state. It was very perplexing.

Well – there was far too much to do to dwell on the mystery now. He’d think about it later, after he’d finished his paperwork, inspected the barracks, completed training and run through the budget for the third time this week in an attempt to find ways to make not a lot of money stretch further than it possibly could. And now he’d have to visit stores to get some clean sheets, which was a nuisance. Perhaps, if there was time left after all that, he’d manage to fit in a brief conversation with Levi over dinner.

Erwin strode to the door and closed it firmly behind him, hoping in a vague way that, when he returned in the evening, things would be back to how they ought to be.

x

Erwin Smith woke with his usual magnificent morning boner and grasped it without delay, pumping himself vigorously. Best to take the edge off if he expected to be able to perform to his normal legendary standards for the rest of the day. The trouble with being Commander of the Scouting Legion was that everyone wanted a piece of him all the time. Not that he could blame them, he thought, groaning in satisfaction as he came stickily into his hand. Wiping the reassuringly copious pool of cum onto the sheet, he stretched lazily, wondering what time it was and where the hell Mike had gone. It had been Mike last night, hadn’t it? Or, at least, Mike had been the one who’d stayed.

He got out of bed and wandered groggily to the washstand. Perhaps he shouldn’t have drunk so much – everything tended to blur after a while. Still, he was sure that whatever had happened on the previous evening, the sex would have been fantastic, as usual. Mike “Donkey-dong” Zacharius never disappointed – “And I _am_ Erwin Smith, after all,” Erwin said aloud, winking at himself in the mirror.

Erwin had just finished getting dressed, rather impressed with himself for having put all his clothes away so neatly even in the throes of passion, when there was a knock at his door. His cock twitched in anticipation. He hoped it would be one of his favourites. Technically, of course, he wasn’t supposed to have favourites, and of course any of them would do, but secretly he sometimes found himself anticipating certain people – or, he admitted to himself guiltily, one particular person – with rather more relish than others.

“Come!” he called imperiously. He always answered knocks in the same way; the resulting innuendoes never got old. 

Ah – jackpot. Levi.

Assuming his most commanding expression, Erwin didn’t even wait for Levi to enter the room. “Levi,” he frowned, “I don’t like to be kept waiting. On your knees, and suck.” He gestured to the impressive bulge in his uniform pants.

Levi blinked. He shook his head, left the room, and came back in again a moment later, looking puzzled and clearly feigning his apparent indifference to Erwin’s straining hardness. “I’m sorry – I – I think I must have misheard what you just said. You were supposed to be in a meeting two fucking hours ago. I covered for you, but I’m not doing it again. Are you ill or something?”

Oh, how Erwin loved it when Levi acted up so perfectly! “Speak to me like that again, and you will be punished, _boy_ ,” Erwin growled darkly. “Get over here now. You don’t want me to have to tell you twice.”

Levi frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. Erwin felt a knot of something that was a combination of excitement and anger deep in his loins. Levi was pushing it now – and that was a dangerous thing to do with Erwin Smith – at least when he was playing this role. He crossed the room in two long strides and grasped Levi’s silky locks in his huge hand, shoving the much smaller man to his knees. For a brief instant he thought he saw the anticipated unwillingly grateful surrender in Levi’s storm-grey eyes – right before Levi’s fist connected with his jaw and sent him flying.


	2. Where Am I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things get weirder and there is much fluttering.

Erwin had barely walked ten paces along the corridor, when he stopped dead, not sure what he was witnessing. _That looked like… But what –_

Eren Jaeger appeared to have Armin Arlert pinned up against the wall, holding his arms over his head with one hand around both of the smaller boy’s delicate wrists while he plundered the blond’s mouth with his tongue and caressed his throat lovingly. Armin looked as though he was just about ready to melt, his long eyelashes fluttering closed as he submitted to Eren’s forceful kiss, a delicate flush gracing his pale cheeks.

Erwin was overcome with embarrassment. While he had nothing against young love per se, the two cadets were in uniform, on duty, and in the officers’ barracks where they had no business to be. Still somewhat shaken from his extraordinary encounter with Hange, Erwin struggled for something to say in the face of such blatant disregard for propriety. The phrase _no canoodling!_ crossed his mind, and, although it was absurd, he couldn’t think of anything else. The only option seemed to be retreat. The boys were so absorbed in each other that Erwin was fairly certain they hadn’t even noticed him. He took a careful step backwards.

Eren looked up, his forest eyes dark with lust. To Erwin’s astonishment Eren showed no trace of guilt or embarrassment. He gave what was possibly the most disturbing smile the commander had ever seen, and stroked his thumb along Armin’s jaw, tilting his face towards Erwin. Armin’s eyelashes fluttered open again slowly, like lazy butterflies. His eyes were a dazed, hazy blue.

Eren looked at Erwin somewhat impatiently. “You joining us?” he asked. Armin smiled drowsily. “Erwin…” he murmured, pushing his hips up against Eren’s, his eyes on the commander.

Erwin choked out something about “completely inappropriate behaviour” and “get back to your own barracks immediately,” as he turned on his heel and fled back to his room.

x

Erwin came around to find that someone had laid him on the bed. He looked over to the desk by the window, where Levi was sitting working on something with apparent diligence. Well – this was an unusual turn of events, but hardly unprecedented, although Levi had been careless this time and actually knocked him out, which wasn’t like him. Erwin thought his lower lip was bleeding. He licked it lasciviously, and murmured, “Levi. If you were so desperate to rough me up a bit, you could have _asked_. I thought you were more into the other kinds of scenario at the moment, or I wouldn’t have -”

Levi put down his pen, and gave Erwin a cold glance. “Snap out of it Erwin. We don’t have time for this shit. What the hell was that, earlier?”

“What are you talking about? Come here and explain what you’re planning to do to me…” Erwin rolled onto one elbow and gave Levi his most seductive smile, his cock, as usual, rock hard. Levi ignored him, and kept on writing.

Erwin assumed Levi’s absorbed focus on those pieces of paper on the desk was just a ruse to keep him dangling, but it seemed to be going on for a very long time.

“What are you doing, Levi?” he asked after far too long a silence.

“Writing your letters of condolence,” Levi replied, not looking up from his work. “Since you’re apparently incapable.”

“Letters of –” Erwin sat up and stared at him, astonished. “Who died?”

That got Levi’s attention. Glowering at Erwin he said, “Are you serious? You want the list?”

“No – but, I mean, no one’s died. We haven’t been on a mission with casualties for years.”

Levi got to his feet. “Oh. That explains it. You should have reported head trauma. Huh. Hope I haven’t made it worse. You had a pretty near miss on Tuesday, don’t you remember?”

“Tuesday?” Erwin asked, struggling to sort through his memories. The days and nights tended to mix themselves together into a general blissful fog. “No – what happened on Tuesday?”

Thursday had been Hange and the lab scene, hadn’t it? And Levi’s friends Petra and Auruo had invited him drinking on Friday, which had led inevitably to an interesting threesome – but what the hell had happened on Tuesday? Nothing significant, certainly. If there really had been deaths, he would have remembered. No – this was all some novel scenario Levi had come up with to make up for the fact that they were no longer able to meet quite as often as they’d been used to.

Levi was doing a good job of looking really concerned now. Erwin thought the expression suited him. He had a powerful urge to fuck his tetchy but unbelievably attractive captain then and there on the desk on top of all that unnecessary paperwork – but he was intrigued by where Levi was taking this new game, and opted to play along.

“You really can’t remember anything about Tuesday?” Levi asked, his low voice anxious. He sat on the edge of the bed and peered into Erwin’s eyes. “You’ll have to get checked over by the medics. I don’t like this… you seemed fine yesterday.”

Erwin couldn’t wait to respond to the blatant invitation he read in Levi’s mercury orbs. He lunged forward, seized Levi’s face between his strong hands, and plunged his tongue into Levi’s mouth with dominant and yet gentle force. Levi’s hands came up to caress Erwin’s chiselled jaw, his small fingers fluttering in helpless but blissful submission – except, wait, thought Erwin – why were they digging in like that – and gripping so tightly – and –

“Ow - Levi!” Erwin exclaimed as the captain shoved his head down onto the pillow, leapt onto the bed to straddle Erwin’s waist, and pinned Erwin down with a hand tight around each wrist. Erwin had forgotten just how strong Levi was. He raised his hips, attempting to grind his now pulsating length against Levi’s muscular and perfectly formed ass.

“Stop it,” Levi said, his voice calm, but very firm. Erwin shivered, his cock growing even harder. It was rare for Levi to take such an overtly dominant role.

“All right Levi…” Erwin purred, his azure gaze fixing on Levi’s beautiful smoke-grey irises. “You win – I’m yours - however you want me.”

Levi sighed, his brows drawing together in a way that, if Erwin hadn’t known better, would have been easy to mistake for irritated exasperation. Obviously though, since he had Erwin Smith prostrate beneath him with a raging hard-on straining the fabric of his trousers nearly to ripping point, Levi’s expression must have been some unusual manifestation of overwhelming lust. But why was Levi getting off the bed and backing away from him? What was going on?

“I’ll have to lock you in, if you can’t control yourself,” Levi said. “You’re either suffering from severe physical head trauma, or something psychological. I’ll get help for you, but you have to behave. We lost a lot of soldiers on Tuesday. Your gear was damaged. I thought you were unharmed in the fall, but –”

“I remember!” Erwin exclaimed, relieved. “Tuesday – of course! We _did_ go outside the walls! You stripped – everything except the gear - and anchored in that overhanging branch, and then you suspended yourself horizontally so that Gunther and I –”

“Shut the fuck up, Erwin!” Levi gasped, his eyes widening. “I don’t want to hear your weird subconscious fantasies! I can’t…” He sighed, looking at the floor for a moment. “But you don’t remember. Look - just – don’t say anything else until I get the doctor.”

“Which doctor?” Erwin asked, his cornflower eyes flashing with anticipation.

“How should I know? Whichever one’s on duty.”

“Make sure it’s one of the hot ones!” Erwin called, as Levi left the room. He heard the clunk of the key turning in the lock, and then silence.


	3. Curiouser and Curiouser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mike is disturbingly flirtatious, and Levi gets more than he bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should say I'm sorry, but I'm not. Thank you so much for reading, kudos, and/or comments.

Safely back in his own quarters, Erwin wondered what his next course of action should be. His rooms were at the end of the corridor and the only way to leave the building would be to pass Eren and Armin again, which he really didn’t want to do. Unless…

A few seconds later Erwin jumped down from the window, looking about him quickly to make sure he hadn’t been observed doing anything so peculiar as climbing out of his own window in the middle of the day. Dusting off his creaking knees, he was making his way across the courtyard in the direction of the offices in the hope of finding Moblit, when he saw the unmistakable figure of Mike approaching.

Erwin sighed with relief; Mike was utterly reliable. Even if these events were some kind of elaborate joke, Mike would surely tell him the truth. He’d never known his oldest friend to lie.

He wasn’t surprised to see Mike sniffing the air as he drew closer – the action was as common to Mike as saying hello would be to anyone else – but when Mike reached him, put both hands on Erwin’s hips, and pulled him close to his solid body, burying his nose against Erwin’s neck, Erwin felt a horrible sinking feeling.

“Mike…” he began, but Mike stepped back and was staring at him, his rather narrow courgette-green eyes wide open in shock. “You’re not Erwin Smith!” Mike exclaimed.

“What are you talking about? _I’m_ not the one who isn’t myself today!” Erwin cried, disturbed.

“You smell wrong,” Mike said. “In fact, you hardly smell at all. And that can’t be right, because after last night you should at least smell of Lynne and Henning, not to mention me.  You normally smell so damn good, too, but now…”

“Now _what_?” Erwin demanded. Whatever strange influence had possessed the Survey Corps today, there were few things Erwin trusted as surely as Mike’s nose. He made himself keep still as Mike leaned close again and sniffed him carefully. “Almost nothing,” Mike declared at last. “Soap. And the faintest trace of Levi, of course. Huh. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you two hadn’t fucked in _weeks_.”

Erwin felt his face burning bright red. “I really don’t know what you’re trying to imply –” he started, but Mike cut him off.

“You _look_ like Erwin Smith,” he said, “and you talk more or less like him. But you don’t smell like him at all. What’s going on? He certainly never told me he had a twin.”

“I don’t! I mean – of course not – I _am_ Erwin Smith. It’s just –”

“You seem upset,” Mike said, with the kind of slow smile Erwin had always thought he reserved for pretty barmaids. “Whoever you are, you should probably let me help you to calm down.”

“I don’t need to calm down!” Erwin almost shrieked. Mike raised an eyebrow. Erwin tried again. “I don’t need to calm down,” he repeated, forcing his voice into a lower register, trying not to be worried by the way Mike was rubbing one hand up and down his forearm, with a look that Erwin could only describe as lustful concern.

“A quick blow job, behind the stables,” Mike said, “is what you need. It’s a great stress reliever.”

“B – behind the stables?” Erwin stuttered, unable to bring himself to repeat the first part of Mike’s utterance.

Mike chuckled in an unnervingly deep and throaty way. “It’s not a euphemism,” he said, “although I’m sure we could think of a way to make it into one. Lynne told me you were the most creative lover she’d ever had…”

Lynne, Erwin vaguely recalled, was a young lieutenant in Mike’s squad. He wasn’t sure that he’d ever so much as spoken to her directly.

“Mike,” Erwin said, aiming to regain his usual control, “I don’t mean to be rude, but everyone is behaving in an extremely inappropriate and frankly – as Levi would probably put it – ‘weird as fuck’ way today. You seem to think I’m some kind of an imposter, although from my point of view I’m hardly the one with the problem here - so shouldn’t you be doing something about it?”

“Yeah, yeah,” nodded Mike, with a lazy smile. “I’ll get Hange on your case later. But you know what you always say – ‘when in doubt, whip it out’.”

“I most certainly have never said anything remotely like that in my entire life!” Erwin cried. “This is ridiculous! I’m going to find someone capable of rational speech who isn’t in a state of constant sexual arousal.”

Mike leaned forward, his breath hot against Erwin’s ear as he murmured, “Good luck with that, Commander.”

Erwin pushed him out of the way and strode off towards the offices.

Mike called after him, “If you find the real Erwin, don’t waste any time! Haven’t you always wondered what it would be like to suck your own dick - like Levi can, but without the risk of dislocating your spine?”

Erwin resisted the urge to clamp his hands over his ears, and walked faster, trying not to think too hard about that last part. But he couldn’t help wondering - was Levi really _that_ flexible...?

x

Levi returned a good ten minutes later, with Zoe Hange in tow. “I met Hange on the way,” Levi began, “and on reflection I thought – _holy fucking shit_ _Erwin_!”

Erwin grinned up at them from the bed where he reclined with his hands behind his head and his legs crossed at the ankles, stark naked but for the bolo tie that was the symbol of his command, and sporting the most enormous erection either Zoe or Levi – or probably anyone else, Levi thought, swallowing hard – had ever seen in their lives.

“I was getting bored, so I thought I’d make a start,” Erwin explained, contracting his muscles so that the prodigious protuberance bobbed back and forth in a friendly fashion as though waving hello. “Who’s first?”

Levi turned to leave. Zoe stood motionless, her eyes very wide behind her glasses. Levi grabbed her arm, and dragged her out of the room, slamming the door behind them.

“That,” he whispered, pointing back through the closed door, “is _not_ Erwin Smith.”

“I’ll admit his behaviour seems odd,” Zoe said, “but stress can do all kinds of strange things to the brain – let alone physical trauma. If he fell on his head and damaged the prefrontal cortex, then his control over his more – basic – responses could be compromised. The prefrontal cortex, among other things, seems to govern socially accepted behaviours. I’ve observed this kind of reaction in other wounded soldiers, although not to this degree.”

“No,” Levi said, seeming uncharacteristically shy about giving his opinion. “No – it’s not his prefrontal _cortex_ I’m talking about. His – uh – _prefrontal_ –” Levi scowled, annoyed at his own lack of eloquence. “Look – that is just not Erwin, all right?”

“But how would –” Zoe began. Levi looked at her. “ _Oh_ ,” she said, glancing from Levi to the closed door and back. “Oh, I see. You mean his –”

“Yeah,” said Levi shortly, scowling.

“Bigger or smaller?” Zoe asked.

“ _What the_ -?”

“Joking!” Zoe smiled, shaking her head. “But if we accept the evidence of your experie – uh – _eyes_ – then we’d have to conclude that the person in there is some kind of imposter. In which case, where’s the real Erwin?”

“That’s what I want to know,” Levi replied. “What if this one’s some kind of new titan shifter like Eren, but able to imitate humans, and he’s kidnapped Erwin – or worse?” He thought quickly, asking himself what the real Erwin Smith would do in a situation of this kind. “We’ll have to get him somewhere secure – preferably underground. You go and see whether our Erwin is anywhere to be found, and, if not, inform Mike about what’s going on. Bring your squads and mine, and lock down the route from here to the cells. Tell everyone else that Erwin’s suffering from a fever, and we’re isolating him until we know what it is.”

“All right. We’ll have to confine him to his room until I’ve put everything in place,” Zoe said. “I’ll knock on the door three times when the route is secure, and you can persuade him to go down to the cells with you. In the meantime, we shouldn’t arouse his suspicions. You’ll have to go back in there. Play along, until I knock.”

“ _Play along_?” Levi’s expression came the closest to panic Zoe had ever seen from him. “Are you fucking kidding me? You saw that… thing!”

“You’ll think of something,” Zoe smiled. “Come on, Levi – how _hard_ can it be?”

Levi’s eyes narrowed dangerously.

“What?” Zoe asked, taking a step backwards.

“You _know_ what, shitty four-eyes. If I die in there –”

“I’ll be able to write on your tombstone ‘died happy’? Stop whinging and get in there, Levi. We have to find out what’s happened to the real Erwin.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Levi said, gritting his teeth. “Wish me luck. Here I go!”


	4. This is NOT my writing desk...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Erwin comes up with a plan, and Levi wavers.  
> (I did say it was Eruri...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who is reading this. Your time, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated. The not-quite smut-fest continues, but I have to warn you that at some point there may be fluff.

En route to the office block, Erwin had to avert his gaze from several more recruits who were ostensibly practising hand-to-hand combat in the courtyard. He succeeded in avoiding the little blonde, Krista, who was rolling around on the ground with a taller dark-haired girl, almost tripped over Connie Springer who was attempting some kind of definitely illegal move on a giggling brunette, and looked away very quickly before he could fully register what Jean Kirchstein was up to with the cheerful looking freckled boy whom Erwin didn’t recognise.

It disturbed Erwin that he was already losing his ability to feel shock at these displays of completely inappropriate public affection. His main concern was for the utter lack of discipline and the chaos that surrounded him. Discarded gear was piled beside some broken crates, there was straw everywhere – the entire headquarters looked positively unkempt. What on earth was Levi thinking? Surely _he_ wouldn’t have succumbed to the madness that seemed to have infected everyone else? The idea of Levi waking up in a bed like the one Erwin had found himself in that morning was just incredible. The captain would never tolerate such filth.

 _Please_ , thought Erwin as he entered the office building, _at least let Levi be his usual self. I don’t think I can stand much more of this!_

When he reached his office Erwin was relieved to find it deserted. With a sigh he sat down at his desk, alarmed when the chair creaked and rocked beneath his weight as if it were about to give way. Well – regardless of the oddness of the day so far, there was still a lot of paperwork to do, including the sad task of writing letters of condolence to the families of the soldiers who had fallen in Tuesday’s aborted operation before the Survey Corps had been recalled to Trost. Opening the top drawer of his desk, Erwin was surprised to see no sign of his pen, ink or stationary; instead the drawer was full of small bottles of oil of the kind used for conditioning the leather of the 3DMG harnesses and the horses’ saddles and bridles. What on earth was that doing in –

Oh. Oh dear.

He’d been trying to avoid facing the truth up until now, but it was obvious to Erwin that this was not _his_ desk. It wasn’t even his office – _his_ chair had never been used for what he surmised must have made this one so unstable. And although they looked the same, the people he’d encountered so far today weren’t his friends and subordinates. Mike had been right – whoever the Erwin Smith was who lived and worked in these impossible conditions, it certainly wasn’t _him_.

Erwin picked up one of the scattered sheets of paper that littered the desk. It had the Survey Corps emblem at the top, but over the rest of the page someone had scrawled “blah, blah, orders, blah blah, titans, whatever, blah, Levi where the fuck are you I’m bored and hard enough to crack walnuts using my dick as a hammer, blah blah, if that isn’t you I can hear coming down the corridor now I’m going to –”

Presumably it _had_ been Levi, because the ‘o’ of ‘to’ trailed off into a smudge. There were other stains on the paper, and Erwin put it down hastily. Without any writing equipment, aside from one rather bedraggled looking quill pen that he _really_ didn’t want to touch, there was little Erwin could do in the office. He got up – very carefully – from the chair, which groaned in protest, and headed back out into the corridor to see if he could find Levi. Instead, he met Zoe Hange’s immediate subordinate, Moblit. Since it now seemed that Zoe’s alarming behaviour that morning was nothing out of the ordinary in this place – wherever this place was – Erwin wondered whether it was even worth mentioning it to Moblit, but he decided to see whether he could get any sense out of the man. The lieutenant was staring at him with wide brown eyes, but so far he hadn’t attempted anything sexual, which was a relief. “Commander Smith!” he exclaimed.

“Lieutenant Moblit. I wanted to ask you about Captain Hange. She came to see me this morning, and her behaviour seemed a bit – odd.”

“Oh – yes,” Moblit said, blushing, “she told me.”

“She _told_ you?” Erwin asked, colouring himself.

“Yes – said you – um - couldn’t get it up, but that it was all right, because even you must get tired sometimes. I told her I didn’t believe her. She – she was mistaken wasn’t she, Sir? I wouldn’t like to think that you’d fail us like that – especially not with Zoe. She’d be mortified if she thought you didn’t want her.”

“ _What_?” Erwin simply couldn’t process Moblit’s take on things. “So – you think _my_ behaviour was at fault?”

Moblit’s face fell. “So it _was_ true.” He shook his head, sadly. “I hope this isn’t Keith Shardis all over again, Sir. We _need_ you. Without you ruling over us all with your rod of iron, where would we be? The Survey Corps would be a joke! Please tell me it was just a temporary aberration?” Moblit looked up, his expression suddenly hopeful. “Perhaps you just need a change, Sir? There have been a few rumours that you’ve been rather – ahem – _preferential_ – in the distribution of your favours ever since –”

“Ever since what?” Erwin asked, feeling as though he was at least beginning to get a grip on how this strange other-world worked.

“I wouldn’t like to say, Sir,” Moblit replied, looking at the floor. “It’s not – nice. You know, to accuse you of leanings towards…” He glanced around, as though afraid someone else would overhear, and whispered, “ _exclusivity_.” Moblit took a tentative step forward, and laid a trembling hand on Erwin’s chest. “You know I’m completely at your disposal,” he murmured, looking up at Erwin through surprisingly long dark eyelashes. “It’s been quite a while. Remember that time you let me draw you wearing nothing but the bolo tie? I think about that time a lot _…_ ”

“I see,” Erwin replied cautiously, the beginnings of a plan stirring in his mind. “Well – yes, so do I, of course. But at this precise moment I have an urgent task that requires my full attention.” Erwin swallowed, not quite believing he was about to do what had to be done, and then he put his hand over Moblit’s, gave it a firm squeeze, and made himself smile in what he imagined might pass as a seductive fashion, looking deep into Moblit’s liquid brown eyes. “Perhaps we could continue this intriguing discussion at a later date?” Erwin said, attempting to deepen his voice and adopting a tone he hoped would come across as commanding, yet playful. To his own ears he sounded ridiculous, but Moblit emitted a strained whimper and whispered, “Please don’t make me wait too long, Commander!”

“I won’t,” Erwin promised. “Just tell me one thing, Moblit.”

“Anything!” Moblit sighed.

“When you said there had been rumours about me showing exclusive tendencies –”

Moblit flinched at Erwin’s words. “I never believed it, Sir! It was only – he is so… well, he is sort of irresistible – and some people – not me, but _some people_ – were saying that it wouldn’t even be all that surprising if…”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about – who’s ‘irresistible’?” Erwin asked, trying not to sound impatient.

“Captain Levi, Sir,” Moblit replied.

Erwin remembered Mike’s words, and felt himself reddening. “Absurd!” he exclaimed. “Captain Levi is a member of the Survey Corps just like anyone else. I have never given him any kind of preferential treatment.”

“No, Sir, of course not, Sir!” Moblit said, standing to attention. “I’m sorry if I’ve offended you, Sir! Feel free to punish me in any way you see fit, Sir! Please.”

“Later,” said Erwin. “For now, you’re dismissed. Or – no – wait,” he added, seizing the opportunity to get his plan underway at once. He made his voice commandingly gruff as he ordered: “For your impertinence you can find a broom and clean up the whole of the main courtyard. There’s loose straw and rubbish everywhere. Make sure you do a good job, or - be prepared to face the consequences!”

A disturbing shudder ran through Moblit as he licked his dry lips and whispered, “Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir.”

Erwin watched him as he marched away at the double, pondering his words. If his plan were to have any chance of success, he’d have to find Mike and persuade him not to tell anyone that he wasn’t the ‘real’ Erwin Smith. And then he needed to see Levi.

x

Levi entered Erwin’s room, and locked the door behind him. The eye-watering monstrosity of a hard-on hadn’t abated in the slightest. Erwin gave it a stroke. Levi had to struggle to make himself look at Erwin’s face.

“You took your time,” Erwin said. His voice softened a little, as he added, “I shouldn’t say this, but I’m glad it’s you, Levi.”

 _Play along_ , Levi reminded himself. “Thank you,” he managed, feeling slightly breathless. “I – um – that’s…”

He made himself concentrate on Erwin’s features, trying to find any difference between this Erwin’s face, and the one he knew so well. Physically, he concluded they were identical, but something was wrong. It was a subtle thing until you looked closely, but Levi realised that, whereas his Erwin was self-confident, this one’s expression seemed closer to arrogance. There was something missing behind those identical blue eyes – something of Erwin’s usual disciplined intelligence had slipped.

“Come here,” not-Erwin commanded, patting the bed beside him. “I like it when you stare into my eyes like that.”

Levi obeyed. Staring into eyes, he could do. As long as this Erwin didn’t expect him to go anywhere near that – _thing._

“Do you remember when you said you didn’t care about seeing the ocean, because nothing could be bluer than my eyes?” Erwin asked, resting his palm against Levi’s cheek, and running his thumb over Levi’s bottom lip.

Levi was quite sure he’d never uttered anything so nauseatingly sentimental in his life, but he needed to buy time for Zoe to get her troops in place, so he just nodded, wondering why this Erwin’s fingers were so much softer than the real Erwin’s.

“You seem tense,” Erwin said. “Is it because of our little argument after Tuesday?”

“Tuesday?” Levi asked. “I – don’t remember. So much happened…”

“It was wrong of me,” Erwin said. “You were right – Gunther was upset, and I was being unprofessional.”

“I can’t imagine you ever being unprofessional,” Levi replied, a little bitterly, thinking for a moment of his Erwin.

“One or two people have made comments about the amount of attention I’ve been paying you,” Erwin said, reaching up to thread his fingers through Levi’s hair. Levi tried not to lean into the touch, but it was difficult not to. “Gunther finding out that I’d invited you to stay the night, after our three-way in the forest… well, that was unfortunate,” Erwin continued.

Levi wasn’t normally easy to embarrass, but he’d once met his squad member’s girlfriend – a pleasant, rather shy young woman, who had gazed at the serious Gunther with utter devotion in her wide green eyes - and the images Erwin was putting into his head were unsettling on several levels.

“This would be the ‘three-way’ you talked about earlier, with the misuse of manoeuvre gear outside the walls?” Levi said, feeling his cheeks turning pink as he remembered Erwin’s account of what had happened on Tuesday.

“Yes,” Erwin said, unfazed. “Although I wouldn’t call it _misuse_. I’d say it was precisely what the manoeuvre gear was invented for, wouldn’t you?”

“ _Killing titans_ , is what it was invented for,” Levi corrected, trying not to sound angry. “Any use of  - the kind you were implying – sounds… horribly chafey, aside from anything else.”

“Not really,” Erwin replied, looking mildly confused. “Not since we got the funding to add the lambs’ wool padding on the undersides of the harnesses.”

“ _What?_ ” Levi couldn’t help asking, forgetting that he was supposed to be going along with this bizarre version of Erwin for the time being.

“ _You_ know,” Erwin said, reaching down beside the bed to retrieve the harness he’d removed, along with every other stitch of clothing apart from the tie. He handed the tangle of leather straps to Levi, who frowned, turning it over in his hands. “What are you talking about? This is standard gear.”

“That’s odd,” said Erwin, examining the harness. I found it in my wardrobe this morning. Although, come to think of it, I could have sworn Mike threw it into a corner when he ripped it off me last night –”

“ _Mike_?” Although he was convinced that this man was not _his_ Erwin Smith, Levi still felt a surge of jealousy at the thought of Mike in Erwin’s bed. Fortunately – or not, depending on how you looked at it – Levi’s outburst focussed Erwin’s attention back on him.

“Surely you’re not jealous, Levi?” Erwin asked, stroking his hand along Levi’s thigh. “You were the one who told me we should cut it down to five or six times a week to give the others a chance.”

“F-Five or six times a _week_?” Levi stammered. His own encounters with Erwin - at least the ones that would technically qualify as sex - equalled seven in total, spread over more than a year – always in semi-darkness, and never discussed afterwards, until -

“- I know, Levi,” Erwin soothed, his hand moving higher up Levi’s thigh, “it’s not enough for me, either. But you were right – I’m the commander. What I did to poor Gunther – leaving him out like that – was unacceptable. I have to make myself available to _all_ my troops, or what kind of a commander am I? But enough work talk. We’re together _now_. Kiss me, Levi.”

At least all this discussion must have reduced Erwin’s titanic hard-on to some extent, Levi thought, glancing over his shoulder, his eyes widening when he saw that it was just as enormous as ever. Hesitating, he found himself unceremoniously yanked forward, Erwin’s hand gripping his cravat. Erwin’s mouth met Levi’s in a hot, wet kiss that was fervent on Erwin’s part, and startled on Levi’s. This Erwin tasted like his Erwin, though, and he kissed so well, and so deeply, that Levi was ashamed to feel a shiver of mostly unwanted desire run through him.

 _I’m just playing along_ , he reminded himself. _Just playing along until Hange comes back. All I have to do is make it convincing, and –_ _oh fucking hell, Erwin – or whoever you are - do that again!_


	5. Is that a gherkin in your baguette, or are you just pleased to see me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The madness continues. There will be fluff...

When Erwin found Mike, the tall squad leader was, thankfully, doing nothing worse than emerging from the officers’ mess carrying a baguette. He grinned when he saw Erwin approaching. Breaking the sandwich in two, Mike offered half to Erwin, holding the bread at what the commander considered an unnecessarily phallic angle. “It’s sausage and gherkin,” Mike told him, with a wink.

“Of course it is,” Erwin replied, dryly, but he took the proffered sandwich anyway, since he hadn’t eaten all day. Whatever other flaws this disturbing parody of the Survey Corps may have, at least it seemed that the catering department maintained high standards. The sandwich was much better than Erwin was used to.

“I need to talk to you, Mike,” Erwin said, when he’d swallowed the delicious mouthful of meaty sausage and piquant gherkin, trying to ignore the way Mike was watching him as he ate.

“Of course,” Mike smiled. “Anything you want, Erwin.”

“You said your sense of smell told you that I’m not your Erwin Smith, and you’re right about that,” Erwin said. “I don’t know what happened – but when I woke up this morning everything was different from the world I know. I’m finding this version of things… challenging. Unless this is an unusually vivid dream?” he finished, hopefully.

“You smell real enough to me,” Mike said. “And you _look_ exactly like the Erwin I know. Does this mean my Erwin is in your world?”

“Oh god – I hadn’t thought of that!” Erwin exclaimed. “ _Levi_ …”

“Ah,” Mike said, sounding somewhat wistful, “you too, eh?”

“‘Me too’ what?” asked Erwin ungracefully.

“You’re in love with your Levi, just like our Erwin is with ours,” Mike said.

“ _Love_?” Erwin scoffed. “No, of course not! My relationship with Levi is entirely –”

“You may not be my Erwin Smith,” Mike interrupted, “but I can still sniff out your bullshit. Our Erwin has been neglecting his duties to the rest of us in order to spend more and more time with Levi. They keep trying to see less of each other, but it’s never been the same for anyone else with Erwin since he found Levi. Is that what happened in your world, too?”

“No! Of course not! Levi and I – that is, if there were ever any… It’s wouldn’t be  – because we’re professional soldiers, so nothing like that… It wasn’t more than once or twi- well, – a few times… And in any case, I’ve - _we’ve_ decided that it can’t happen again,” replied Erwin eloquently.

“Thought so,” said Mike, with a mournful shake of his shaggy head. “So what _is_ different where you come from, then?”

“Everything!” Erwin replied. “We exist to kill titans, and to attempt to find a way to rid the world of them.”

“Yeah, but – that’s not going to happen, is it?” Mike asked. “I mean, seriously?”

“We think – _I_ believe – we can accomplish a great deal if we try hard enough,” Erwin stated. “I’m confident that there must be a way to get rid of our enemy. The titans must have weaknesses – but we won’t find out what those are, hidden safely inside the walls!”

“We go outside the walls!” Mike protested. “What about Tuesday, when Nanaba and I had a very satisfactory encounter halfway up a pine tree, and, from what I hear, you, Gunther and Levi – Only, that wasn’t you was it? Ah.”

“You go outside the walls _to have sex_?” Erwin asked, incredulously.

“Naturally. When we all know each other so – um - _intimately_ , we have to spice things up somehow,” Mike explained.

“And do you ever actually kill any titans?” Erwin asked.

“Yes, in theory – but not if we can avoid it,” Mike replied. “We’re not stupid! And ever since you developed your new strategy, we almost always get back inside the walls before we encounter any titans.”

“But – my strategy was designed to allow us to get deeper into titan territory with minimal casualties,” Erwin said.

“Perhaps _yours_ was. Our Erwin’s strategy involves forming a ring of scouts around the designated play area, and using smoke signals to report any titan sightings, at which point we all retreat pronto.”

“The _designated play area_?”

“Yes – for –”

“No – I can guess what it’s _for_! I just can’t believe that the Survey Corps has come to this! How do you get funding for this farce?”

Mike looked genuinely puzzled. “What do you mean?”

“Who on earth is paying you all to spend your lives pointlessly fucking each other senseless?” Erwin almost shouted.

“It’s been like this for a decade,” Mike said. “Ever since the king signed the Carpe Diem Act. We get funding as long as we keep morale high, and don’t do anything to attract the titans. What we do here keeps us fit, just in case we're ever needed in the future. Casualties are almost non-existent, and our wages go back into the local economy. Of course there’s always the threat of burn-out like poor old Keith.” Mike shook his head. “Nasty business. But I went to visit him last week, and he’s back to once or twice a month, so there’s still hope for him, now the pressure’s off.”

“Mike – is sex really all anyone here cares about?” Erwin asked, a wave of tired hopelessness washing over him.

“No, of course not. We care about lots of things. Good food, good drink, cards and dice… But, yes, mostly sex,” Mike agreed.

“I see. So, if I were to tell you that I had a plan to get this place sorted out into an efficient titan fighting outfit –”

“I’d probably have to report you for treason,” Mike said sadly.

For the first time in his life, Erwin doubted his goals. Titans, he could fight. But trying to persuade people who had everything they wanted to throw it all away for some nebulous dream of freedom, long since abandoned? Was that possible? “Mike, will you allow me to try something? Just for a short while? If it doesn’t work, you can tell everyone who I am, and deal with me accordingly – but I’d like the chance to show your Survey Corps the possibility of a different future.”

“That’s dangerous talk, Erwin. You know what people will say.”

“No?”

“They’ll take it as proof that you’ve become obsessed by Levi. They know what he used to be.”

“What he used to be? A thug in the underground city?”

“A thug?” Mike shook his head. “There aren’t any thugs in the underground city! Why would there be? A dangerous revolutionary – that’s what Levi was. Wild talk of wings, and freedom, and expeditions to destroy the titans. If you hadn’t tamed him, he would have spent the rest of his life in a cell, for the safety of the citizens.”

“ _Levi_ was a revolutionary?”

“Yes – until you - _persuaded_ him otherwise. Look, Erwin, I understand that things are different where you come from, but we’re happy here. I can’t allow you to interfere with that.”

“I’m only asking for _one day_ , Mike. Just let me show them what we can achieve in one day, if we work together and focus on something important. If they don’t see the difference, I promise I’ll stop, and try to be whatever it is the other Erwin is, until I can find out how to get home.”

Mike sighed. “All right, Erwin, if it means so much to you. I won’t say anything until the day after tomorrow. But you have to learn to relax a little. I’ve never met anyone so uptight! We could –”

“I’m sorry Mike. I need to I know whether or not change is possible here. In my world, we’re good friends – you’re my closest friend. But not... You know.”

“And anyway, you’re going to find Levi,” Mike said in a resigned tone.

“Yes,” Erwin admitted, knowing that his motives on that score were perhaps not entirely pure. “I’m going to find Levi.”

x

Levi was starting to wonder whether it was possible to come just from the pleasure of kissing. He closed his eyes and let Erwin do what he wanted, wishing that the real Erwin hadn’t always been so reluctant to kiss him. He knew that Erwin – _his_ Erwin – felt guilty about the few times they’d given in to the mutual desire that had existed between them ever since – well, on Levi’s side the physical attraction had been instantaneous, despite his decidedly unaffectionate feelings about Erwin’s actions at the time of their first meeting. He didn’t know when Erwin’s attraction to him had begun – they had never talked about any of it afterwards, until the last time, two months ago, when Erwin had declared that what they were doing was unprofessional and would have to stop. Levi had shrugged and lied, “It’s just sex,” and pretended not to care when Erwin had agreed and added, “It would be more sensible to fulfil those needs elsewhere – outside the corps.” He didn’t know what Erwin had been doing since then, but Levi had absolutely no intention of visiting some disease-ridden brothel, and he had no stomach for pursuing a relationship with anyone else. The truth was that he had stupidly gone and done something he thought he’d never do: he’d let himself fall in love. Worse than that, he’d fallen in love with his commanding officer – a man to whom professionalism and duty came before all else, and the last man in the world to give in to something as hopelessly self-indulgent and sentimental as romantic love.

Levi had tried hard to continue to behave with absolute professionalism around Erwin, but it had been difficult to maintain his façade of indifference. Now, with this almost perfect facsimile of Erwin Smith kissing him in exactly the way he’d always longed for the real Erwin to do, the temptation to give in to desire was very strong. But this Erwin might be the one responsible for the disappearance of the real Erwin, Levi reminded himself – if the real Erwin _had_ disappeared. Where the hell was Hange?

“Levi,” Erwin murmured, gazing up at him out of sapphire eyes gone dazed and dark with desire, “Levi!” He pulled back a little, smiling, looking mildly surprised. “You seem… different.” Erwin stroked Levi’s cheekbone with his thumb. Levi turned his head and kissed Erwin’s palm – _playing along_ , he told himself, although he really wasn’t sure if that was entirely true. “Different how?”

Erwin shook his head, still smiling. “I’m not sure. You kiss me as though – I don’t know – as though you’ve never kissed me before. It’s not our usual dynamic, I suppose.”

“Our – usual -?”

“You know what I mean, Levi - you normally like it when I’m the one taking control of proceedings.”

“Do I? I – I mean, yes. Yes, I do.”

“What’s wrong?” Erwin asked. “Is it because we’ve had to cut down so much?”

“Um, yeah,” improvised Levi. “I guess that must be it.”

“I’ve found it hard, too,” Erwin said, looking almost embarrassed. “Levi – I shouldn’t admit this – you’re not going to like it, when you’ve been so good about reminding me to be professional - but I – I think –”

Three raps on the door interrupted him.

“Hange,” Levi said.

“So soon? Can’t you tell her to come back later? You haven’t even touched my –”

“Uh – yeah,” said Levi quickly. “Yeah – I’ll just go and tell her. And then, I had an idea about what we could do. You know – if you don’t mind me ‘taking control of proceedings’ for a change – But you’ll have to get dressed first. We’ll need to move elsewhere.”

“I don’t know what’s come over you, Levi,” said Erwin, with a lift of his impressive and perfectly groomed eyebrows at the obvious double entendre, “but I think I like it! Still, I’m not going anywhere until you’ve done something about _this_!” Erwin raised his hips and indicated his still-unfeasibly-stupendous erection.

“I’ll – go and talk to Hange,” Levi said hastily. Quickly re-buttoning his shirt, which Erwin had somehow managed to undo without his noticing, Levi went to the door and opened it a crack. Hange gazed at him anxiously. “No sign of our Erwin. Are you all right?” she whispered.

“Yes. If you don’t mind waiting a bit longer – we’ll be – uh – relocating soon.”

Hange nodded, giving Levi a reassuring thumbs-up. Levi closed the door again, and turned to face the impostor and his impossibly extensive appendage.

“Get dressed, Erwin,” he said, as firmly as he could manage. “If you want to find out what I have planned for you, you need to start doing what you’re told right now.”

For a moment Levi thought Erwin was going to argue, but then he nodded slowly, licking his lips in a way that made Levi’s already shamefully hard cock even harder. “Anything you say, Captain,” Erwin said, getting up from the bed and bending to retrieve his clothes, giving Levi a view he’d certainly never experienced before. “I have a feeling this is going to be interesting.”

Levi watched him attempting, and failing, to fit himself back into his trousers. It would have been funny, if he weren’t starting to feel seriously worried about the real Erwin.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, leave them undone and hide it under your shirt!” Levi snapped, exasperated.

Erwin looked slightly startled at his tone, but obeyed nonetheless. When he was decent – or at least covered up – Levi opened the door. “Follow me,” he commanded with quiet menace, “and don’t say another word until I tell you to.”

Erwin swallowed and nodded, a fierce heat burning in his cobalt eyes.


	6. Confessions and Confusions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Erwin is made to feel inadequate and Levi's wrists ache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff warning, and tiring almost-sex.   
> Thank you so much for your comments and kudoses, and for reading this weird story!

After making several enquiries and avoiding advances from half a dozen soldiers including Erd Gin, Luke Ciss, Petra Ral, and a trio of over-excited recruits whose names he didn’t even know, Erwin discovered Levi sleeping in the hayloft over the stables, mercifully alone. Back in his familiar world, Erwin knew that Levi would have woken, instantly alert, the moment he heard Erwin’s step on the first rung of the ladder, but this Levi remained fast asleep, curled in his cloak on a bed of hay, as Erwin made his way up the ladder and into the loft.

It was a good place to fall asleep, Erwin thought. The early afternoon sunlight warmed the rafters, and the pile of fresh hay smelled clean and sweet. Erwin sat on the floor beside the captain, who was not _his_ captain, but who looked just the same. Levi’s face relaxed slightly in sleep, but the little frown between his eyebrows remained.

It occurred to Erwin that he had never seen his Levi sleeping. Their rare, hurried encounters had always taken place in differing degrees of darkness, and Erwin had never once stayed until the morning. He felt a surge of tenderness for Levi, and told himself he was being stupid. Levi had said that their fumbled, desperate meetings were nothing but sex, and of course it had been necessary to call a halt to such unprofessional goings-on. At least Erwin had managed to sound convincing when he’d told Levi they’d both be better off finding sexual partners outside the Survey Corps. It would never do if Levi suspected his weakness – the ridiculous feelings he’d somehow managed to develop in spite of his best intentions. Levi trusted him to be the commander the Survey Corps - and, indeed, the whole of humanity - needed. How could he permit something as immaterial as – _affection_ , or whatever the hell it was he felt for Levi - to jeopardise that?

Still, Erwin found himself wondering whether Levi had taken his advice and found himself a lover – or lovers – outside the corps. Someone like Levi would hardly lack offers after all. Perhaps he’d even returned to someone he’d once known in the underground? Erwin had let Mike talk him into a drunken night in a Wall Rose inn where a very pretty barmaid had made it obvious that she was more than willing to let him ‘walk her home’, as she had put it with a suggestive wink, but he’d made his excuses and left Mike to it. The pathetic truth was that Erwin had no desire for anyone who wasn’t -

“Levi…” he said aloud.

Levi’s dove-grey eyes opened, and he looked up at Erwin with a strange expression, caught between longing and resignation. “Erwin,” he said. “I didn’t think you’d find me here.”

“I’m sorry to wake you, Levi. I need –”

“I know,” interrupted Levi, before Erwin could finish his sentence. “I know you’ve been trying to stay away. It’s not easy, is it? But it’s been nearly forty-eight hours, and I think that’s a record, so I suppose it’s all right.” Levi raised himself up on his knees so that he was a little taller than the seated Erwin, and took Erwin’s face between his small, fine-boned hands. “I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t missed you,” Levi murmured, pressing his lips to Erwin’s.

Erwin knew he ought to protest – he’d always done his best to avoid kissing _his_ Levi too much, precisely because he’d been afraid that it would be like this. What had Moblit said? _He is sort of irresistible._ Yes – that was the difficulty. Erwin found himself returning Levi’s kiss far too willingly, not stopping when Levi shifted around to straddle his lap, actually moaning into Levi’s mouth as Levi thrust his hips forwards to grind their cocks together. Levi pulled away then, looking startled. He reached down between them, and palmed Erwin’s shamefully hard erection. Levi’s eyes widened as he felt the shape of Erwin’s cock through his trousers, and, alongside the shame of having allowed himself to become so easily aroused, Erwin couldn’t help feeling a little proud.

“Erwin!” Levi exclaimed, “What the hell’s happened to your dick?”

 “I’m sorry. I - shouldn’t have let that happen. I was going to say that I needed to talk to you – but I just - got carried away…”

“What are you talking about?” Levi reached forward and unbuttoned Erwin’s fly, allowing his cock to spring forth. Erwin was too surprised to stop him. Levi was staring at Erwin’s throbbing length with a horrified expression on his face. “What happened?” he whispered almost to himself. Then he scooted backwards, quick as a startled cat, his eyes still fixed on Erwin’s pulsating manhood. Slowly his eyes travelled up Erwin’s body and face, until he met Erwin’s confused cerulean gaze. “You – you’re not Erwin Smith!” Levi cried. “Who the fuck are _you_?”

“I should have explained,” Erwin said, blushing as he buttoned himself up. “I know I look like your Erwin Smith, and this is going to sound incredible, but as far as I can tell, I’m actually from a different – um – version of reality.”

“You’re not kidding!” Levi was staring at him with something like pity. “So – where’s _my_ Erwin? Don’t tell me he’s in your world?”

“It seems likely,” Erwin said.

“And is there a version of me in your world? I – I suppose there must be, since you obviously know who I am.”

“Yes,” Erwin said, with a sudden wrenching pang of homesickness. “Yes – there’s a Levi in my world.”

Levi raised his eyebrows. “Tch. He’s in for a big surprise,” he commented dryly.

“In what way?”

“Well, I don’t mean to be rude – but there’s a reason I knew you weren’t _my_ Erwin,” Levi said. “To put it bluntly – your cock’s about half the size of his.”

Erwin glanced downwards before he could stop himself. He’d never had any reason to consider himself inadequate in that department. Sharing washing facilities and barracks with many other men in the course of years of training, Erwin had seen dicks in plenty of shapes and sizes. There had been a few obvious stand-out examples, such as Mike’s rather long one, but nothing had given Erwin cause for concern about his own. As far as he was aware it was a pleasing, regular shape, of at least average length and girth, and it had never given him any trouble or, in his admittedly limited sexual experience, been the target of any complaints.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Levi said, noticing Erwin’s somewhat crestfallen expression, “from what I saw yours looks perfectly… nice. But Erwin is the commander of the Survey Corps! He couldn’t do his job without being exceptional in that department.”

“Um – I’m also the commander of the Survey Corps,” Erwin pointed out. “In my world.”

Levi had the grace to look rather embarrassed. “Oh – yeah, I suppose you are. So – although it’s small, you must have my Erwin’s levels of stamina?”

“I wouldn’t say _small_!” Erwin protested.

Levi smiled mischievously – an expression Erwin had never seen on his own version of Levi. “Well… I didn’t get a good look. Let’s see it again?”

“Certainly not! This world is just impossible! Don’t you _ever_ get any work done?”

“Work?”

“Yes! This place is a mess. If you’re anything like my Levi, I don’t understand how you can stand it.”

Levi sighed. “It’s not easy. But I’m a captain – it’s my duty to keep the troops happy, whatever that takes. Even now that Erwin and I have agreed to cut down to five or six times a week, the others still need attention. I know it’s weak of me, but I get so tired that when it comes to a choice between cleaning and sleep, sleep usually wins.”

Erwin resisted the urge to check that he’d heard correctly when Levi had talked about _cutting down_ to _five or six times a week._ “I don’t understand,” he said, trying to get to grips with this strange and worrying environment. “From what I understand, you’re all constantly fucking each other to the point of exhaustion. You don’t even seem to enjoy it that much. Why on earth don’t you all just stop?”

“What else is there?” Levi shrugged.

“You could focus on killing some titans?” Erwin suggested.

“Why hurry the inevitable?” Levi asked. “It’s not as though anyone really believes we can defeat them any more.”

“Why not?” Erwin demanded. “I’d say things were more positive on that score than they’ve been for five years. Now we have Eren –”

“Eren Jaeger?” Levi asked. “He’s a nice enough kid. Bit over-keen. Not a lot of finesse, but certainly enthusiastic.”

“I’m talking about his titan-shifting abilities!” Erwin said, frowning in disapproval, trying not to think about the expression he’d seen on Eren’s face when he’d encountered him with Armin that morning. “Now we’ve got this chance to see what he can do there’s a real possibility of taking back Wall Maria. Don’t you think that’s –”

“What are you talking about?” Levi asked. “Titan shifting? And what’s wrong with Wall Maria?”

“It fell, five years ago,” Erwin said.

Levi shook his head. “Not here. Ten years ago, the conservatives persuaded the king to seal up the gates.”

  “Seal up the gates?” Erwin echoed, appalled. “But – no – Mike said you went outside the walls.”

“We use the gear and go over the walls, sometimes. No one goes through the gates any more.

“But the colossal titan –”

“The _what?_ ” Levi’s uncomprehending look told Erwin that he wasn’t lying or hiding anything. “Our worlds must be very different. We hardly see titans anymore. ‘Leave them alone, and they’ll leave us alone’ – that was what parliament decided. It’s worked so far.”

But we can fight them! Don’t you want to be able to go outside the walls? Does no one here dream of a titan free world any longer?”

For the first time, Erwin saw something spark behind Levi’s anthracite eyes.

“I used to think like you,” Levi said. “Until Erwin taught me how selfish I was being, and focussed my attention on – other things.”

“His ridiculously disproportionate cock, you mean?” sniped Erwin, who was still feeling a bit fragile on that score, as well as from his realization that this was a world where the walls had never been breached, Eren Jaeger was just a sex-crazed recruit, and the colossal titan had never appeared.

“Yes – what else?” replied Levi matter-of-factly. “Most arguments pale into insignificance in the face of that. I was all fury and revolutionary zeal – Erwin tamed me. No one else could have done it.”

“And don’t you ever think that you might have been right all along?” Erwin asked. “If the colossal titan appears here, you’ll all die.”

“I don’t think so,” Levi replied, sounding bored with the conversation. “Since the priests got Wall Maria raised to a hundred meters, and had all the gates sealed, I’d say we’re as safe as we can be – at least for now. And when the day comes – well, there’s not going to be much anyone can do about it, is there?” He looked into Erwin’s beautiful blue eyes thoughtfully. “Well, since you’re here, we might as well fuck.” Levi smiled and put his arms around Erwin’s neck, looking up at him through dark lashes, his head on one side. “How do you want me?”

“I – I don’t!” Erwin made himself reply, pulling away as Levi leaned closer, his lips parting softly in expectation of a kiss that Erwin had to struggle not to give.

Levi’s crepuscular orbs darkened with pain. “You – _don’t_? If it’s because I said your cock was small –”

“No – don’t be ridiculous! Look, Levi, in my world you – I mean, _my_ Levi - and I don’t – do that. Not any more.”

The look Levi gave Erwin then was tragic. “Oh, Erwin! That’s so fucked up! What _happened_?”

“Nothing happened. We simply agreed that it would be unprofessional to allow ourselves to continue to behave like uncontrolled adolescents, that’s all - a lesson _this_ world seems to need very badly, from what I’ve witnessed so far.”

Levi sat back on his heels and regarded Erwin warily, as if he were some exotic and potentially dangerous animal. “So what keeps him – your Levi - from trying to leave the walls? If you’re not giving him what he needs, what’s to stop him from doing something stupid and provoking the titans?”

“ _Provoking_?” Erwin echoed, astonished. “Levi is the best soldier we have. He _kills_ titans, all the time, often single-handedly. No one can use the gear like he can! You should see… But I suppose you must have the same skills?”

Levi’s expression underwent a subtle change. He frowned in a way that made him look more like Erwin’s Levi than he had done so far, and shook his head, once. “I’ve – never killed a titan.”

Erwin’s eyes widened. “ _Never_?”

“No.  The world is at peace. Erwin made me see that my desire to kill titans wasn’t – normal. I talked about freedom – I had an idea that humanity should be able to leave the walls – but I didn’t understand what that would mean – the cost in human lives. Erwin showed me that boundaries – restrictions – constraints… there can be more freedom in those things than in following your own will thoughtlessly. I mean at first he had to use actual ropes and chains, obviously…” Levi’s eyes took on a far-away expression, as he continued, “wooden paddles, whips of various kinds, or just his hand - but over time I came to understand that, as well as being the best sex I’d ever had, it was also a kind of – what did he call it? One of those things where you use the image of one thing to explain another? Oh yeah, a _metaphor_ – that’s it.”

Erwin tried not to dwell on the pictures Levi’s words were conjuring in his mind. To his shame, his cock was swelling again, completely against his wishes. “Don’t you resent him, for doing those things to you?” he asked. “If you’re anything like as strong as my Levi, you could easily have stopped him. Levi would probably kill me if I –”

Levi’s eyes widened in shock. “What do you mean? Erwin is the commander of the Survey Corps, and a great man! Of course it was all entirely consensual!”

Erwin shook his head. “I don’t understand. I thought you were a revolutionary?”

“I was. But Erwin asked me if I’d let him show me a different path. I’d never met anyone like him, so of course I said yes. I’ve never regretted it.” Levi knelt up and put his arms around Erwin’s neck again, pressing his body close. “You’re very like him,” Levi said softly. “Erwin – you may only have a sm – uh – _average sized_ cock – but we could still -”

“No,” said Erwin, fighting to keep his hands away from the tempting warmth of Levi’s firm body. “No, we couldn’t – I can’t.”

Levi leaned in and kissed Erwin’s mouth softly. “Why not?” He looked deep into the twin azure pools of Erwin’s eyes, smiling slightly. “You don’t think _your_ Levi’s going to resist _my_ Erwin do you?”

Erwin’s expression turned instantly thunderous. With as much restraint as he could manage, he pushed Levi away and got to his feet. Levi stared at him.

“Oh god,” Levi said softly, standing gracefully and gazing at Erwin, his slate-grey eyes sorrowful. “This isn’t about sex at all is it?”

“What do you mean?” Erwin asked, frowning.

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

 Erwin found himself at a loss for a reply. It was something he had hardly even allowed himself to think about, let alone an issue he’d discussed with Levi. Talking about emotions like this – especially _that_ emotion – was hardly compatible with professional soldierly behaviour. Levi was looking at him expectantly. “Erwin?” he prompted, when Erwin failed to respond. “You love him, don’t you?”

“I – I don’t think that’s – It wouldn’t be appropriate to –”

“So, you do.”

Erwin sighed, but couldn’t bring himself to voice a denial. Perhaps in this world, at least, he could afford to be honest with himself.

“I do,” he admitted quietly. “Yes - I do.”

x

It was ridiculously easy to persuade Erwin that allowing Levi to manacle him to the wall of the cell would be a good idea, although Erwin insisted on removing his shirt first, which left Levi trying to avoid looking at what he was starting to think of as _The Colossal Titan_. Despite that, though, Erwin was staring at Levi with such an air of doggish devotion that if weren’t for his concerns about what had happened to the real Erwin, Levi conceded that he might even feel some kind of pity for this big oaf. The man _looked_ like Erwin Smith, but all his formidable intelligence appeared to have drained southwards, leaving his actual head empty of all but hazy lustful thoughts and the odd surprising endearment.

“God, I want you so much!” Erwin murmured as Levi locked the second manacle around his wrist, and Levi had to turn away so that fake Erwin wouldn’t see the stupid blush that came to his cheeks. He tried not to imagine _his_ Erwin saying those words, looking at him with that same longing intensity, but with the added involvement of his sharp, calculating mind – perhaps acting against his own better judgement, but still unable to resist –

Levi scowled, cutting off the thought before he got any more turned on. This was supposed to be an interrogation, god damn it! When he was sure that Erwin was correctly restrained, Levi stepped back. Erwin pulled against the chains that held him, not in fear or threat, Levi realised, but because he knew it made the muscles in his arms and chest swell impressively, his taut golden skin gleaming in the soft lamp light.

“Cut that out,” Levi ordered, his voice rather huskier than he’d intended it to be. “Stand still.”

“Yes, Master,” Erwin replied humbly, bowing his head. Levi shook his head, trying to convince himself that all he felt was disgust, and not the slightest trace of a secret thrill…

“Cut that out, too,” he said quickly.

Erwin looked up at him, his blue eyes confused. “Then – what _do_ you want?” he asked. “You didn’t want me dominant this morning – you don’t want me submissive now – I thought we were doing some kind of doctor kink, but you brought Hange instead, and then sent her away again… What’s going on, Levi?”

“That’s what I want to know,” Levi said, watching Erwin carefully. “I don’t get it. You’re not the real Erwin Smith – that much is obvious. But if you’re some kind of imposter trying to imitate him, you’re doing a shit job of it. All this – this –” Levi realised that he lacked the vocabulary to describe the things Erwin had been hinting at – “all this sex stuff, like you’re in some kind of – I don’t even know – one of those fancy-assed brothels in Sina you hear about that those Unicorn pigs most likely go to.”

“Oh!” Erwin exclaimed, as though the light had finally dawned. “You mean you want to role play some kind of prostitute scenario? Why didn’t you say so? Am I the prostitute or the customer? Am I a man, or do you want me in a dress?”

“ _What?_ No – neither! _No!_ ” Levi couldn’t believe that this version of Erwin could be so open and unconcerned about discussing the kinds of things that those rich Sina perverts might know about, but that most people would be embarrassed to admit they’d even heard of. Everything that had happened between him and _his_ Erwin had taken place in semi-darkness, without words. Neither of them had much sexual experience of any kind: their lives had mainly been spent trying to survive in different ways – and neither of them had ever talked about it afterwards. Both of them had limited previous experience with women, and none with another man. They had never discussed that either, but Levi assumed that Erwin’s decision to call a halt to their encounters was partly due to the fact that he was disturbed by the implications of that aspect of their relationship.  

“Then what _do_ you want?” Erwin cried, his expression deeply troubled. “Levi – all I want is to make you happy!” Suddenly Erwin convulsed in his chains, and stared down at himself. “Oh god – I’m losing it!” Erwin exclaimed, a look of sheer horror on his stupidly handsome face as he gazed down at his flagging erection. “That’s never happened before – I swear! Levi – help me! I’m the commander – I can’t lose it! They’ll pension me off like Shardis – I’ll be reduced to twice a month – if I’m lucky! Please – Levi – do something!”

Levi was at a complete loss how to react, but he was utterly convinced that Erwin’s distress wasn’t feigned, and, although he knew this Erwin wasn’t _his_ Erwin, it still upset him to witness the commander’s helplessness.

“Tell me what you’ve done with the real Erwin Smith,” Levi said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Erwin exclaimed, struggling against the chains in desperation. “Please Levi – anything! Your ass, your mouth, your hands, your feet, your nose – fucking _anything_ , but don’t let me lose it!”

“Where’s Erwin?” Levi persisted, trying not to dwell on the disturbing images conjured up by that last suggestion.

“ _I’m_ Erwin! I _am_ Erwin! What do you mean? I don’t like this game – I don’t understand it. Why are you keeping away from me? I need you to touch me, Levi.”

Levi couldn’t avoid acknowledging the little shiver of desire that ran through him at those words.

“All you have to do is tell me what you’ve done with Erwin,” Levi said, “and I’ll give you what you want.”

_Wait – what?_

Levi couldn’t quite believe the bargain he’d just made, but Erwin seemed about to explode with frustration, and, Levi supposed, this was one way of getting to the truth.

“I swear I don’t know what you mean!” Erwin almost sobbed. “I just – I woke up today, and things were weird. I tried not to notice, but – the clothes – and the bed was so – _clean_ – and – you were different. You didn’t want me, Levi! But I _am_ Erwin Smith! It’s everything else that’s wrong!”

“You really don’t know, do you?” Levi said, anxiety about his Erwin flaring. “You’re as much in the dark as the rest of us.”

“ _Please_ ,” Erwin begged, all traces of arrogance gone, “please, Levi, do something about my dick before it’s too late! Look at it for pity’s sake! It’s almost at an obtuse angle! If word of this gets out I’ll be the laughingstock of the Corps!”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, all right!” Levi walked over to Erwin and put out his hand gingerly. Even in its somewhat flaccid state, Erwin’s dick was still enormous and quite firm. Without looking at it, Levi tried to grasp the shaft, but it was too thick for his hand to encompass. His eyes widened, but he was never one to do anything in a half-assed fashion, so he added the other hand and began to stroke. Erwin gave a long, low moan of pure relief that had Levi’s own cock hardening instantly. Unlike _his_ Erwin, Levi noted, this one did not keep quiet during sexual acts.

“Oh god, yes – thank god, Levi – uhhh – fuck _yes_!” Erwin exclaimed at top volume as Levi worked his narrow hands up and down the enormous cock, which had grown even larger now that his ministrations were taking effect. Levi glanced at the heavy wooden door beyond the bars of the cell, thinking of Hange and Mike stationed behind it, wondering what on earth they’d be thinking.

Time passed. More time passed. Erwin’s moans and exclamations grew louder and louder, and Levi did his best to respond, moving around to try to get a better purchase on the outsized organ, even attempting a backhanded grip like the one he employed when taking on a real titan, but, despite the fact that Erwin was obviously enjoying himself, he didn’t seem to be getting any closer to orgasm, and Levi’s wrists were killing him. His own erection had long since abated as he focussed on the seemingly impossible task of getting Erwin off.

“Fuck,” Levi muttered, wondering whether the shooting pains in his left wrist were an indication that he was going to be left with a permanent injury, “does it always take this long?”

Erwin nodded proudly. “You love how long I can last!” he panted.

“I’m getting cramp,” Levi replied, shaking and stretching one hand at a time to try to relieve the pain, while keeping the pressure and rhythm going with the other. “Ow – shit! Look – can’t we just leave it? We could always – I don’t know - try again later?”

A look of utter confusion crossed Erwin’s face. “I don’t understand Levi. Am I – boring you?”

“No,” lied Levi quickly, “It’s just taking – uh – longer than I thought.”

“Well, I don’t want to complain, when you’re putting in so much physical effort,” Erwin said, “but you’re not exactly up to your usual creative standard are you?”

Levi let go of Erwin’s cock and took a step backwards, frowning, rubbing his wrists. “What do you mean?”

“Come on Levi! You know what I like! You could try talking dirty, or using your mouth – anything instead of just yanking on it like you’re trying to haul water up from a well or something!”

“Yeah? Well that’s just what it feels like I’m doing!” Levi snapped, stung by Erwin’s ingratitude, and his own failure. He had only the faintest notion of what ‘talking dirty’ meant, and the thought of putting his mouth anywhere near that monstrosity when he had no idea, beyond a few disturbing hints, where it had been was absolutely out of the question, but he’d been doing his best. His encounters with the real Erwin had never lasted more than a few minutes when it came to the point, whereas this must have been going on for nearly an hour. Not that Levi hadn’t sometimes wished for some way to spend more time with his Erwin in the past – but this was ridiculous!

Levi unlocked the manacles around Erwin’s wrists, convinced that, whatever else he was, this handsome lug wasn’t a threat of any kind. “You’re just going to have to do it yourself,” he said. “I need to be able to fight. I’m not going to be able to so much as hold a blade if I keep going any longer.”

“Why do you think you have to fight?” Erwin said, perplexed. “What’s wrong, Levi?”

“I have to fight because otherwise the titans are going to win!” Levi exclaimed. “Why do you think?”

To Levi’s surprise Erwin managed to fit his rapidly diminishing cock back into his trousers and button up his fly. He crossed the cell to Levi, who watched him warily. Erwin held out his arms. Levi stared at him. “ _What?_ ”

“Let me hold you, Levi.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Come here.”

Levi hesitated, but decided to comply for the time being. He was certain he could defeat this Erwin if it came to a fight, and playing along might yield some useful information. He told himself that it had nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that Erwin was looking at him in a way he’d never seen anyone look at him before, and the idea of being wrapped in those magnificent arms was treacherously appealing.

Erwin drew Levi into a tight embrace, and kissed the top of his head. “This is my fault,” he said.

Levi looked up at him, his cheek pressed against the warm skin of Erwin’s muscular chest. “What do you mean?”

“This talk of fighting titans. I thought I’d cured you of that, but it’s always there, beneath the surface, isn’t it? That’s why sex isn’t working between us today – you can sense something’s wrong, and you’re right about that. You need to be able to trust me, and I’ve let you down. I was going to tell you earlier – when Hange interrupted us. I’m sorry. I know it goes against everything we stand for, but – I don’t want any of the others any more, only you. I - I love you Levi!”

Levi froze in Erwin’s arms. “No,” he said. “No – you don’t love me. You don’t –”

“I know you must be disgusted with me,” Erwin said sadly. “I tried so hard not to let it happen – to remain impartial. Sex used to be so good between us, and now look what’s happened! You’re thinking about titans again, and I don’t want to fuck anyone but you –”

“Shut up and listen!” Levi exclaimed, wriggling free of Erwin’s embrace and turning to face him. “You don’t love _me_ , because I’m not _your_ Levi! I already told you – you aren’t _my_ Erwin. There is no way in hell my Erwin would ever say anything like – like all that slushy crap you were just spouting. Of course I’m thinking about titans – what do you expect? I kill titans – it’s what I do – and it’s what you – Erwin, I mean – what _he_ wants me to do. Shit! Get it through your head - you are not my Erwin.”

“I know I don’t deserve to be your Erwin -” Erwin began, looking so miserable that Levi felt sorry for him again in spite of himself.

“No – you still don’t get it. You’re _not_ my Erwin.  You’re someone else. Physically, someone else. My Erwin isn’t – he doesn’t know about all that weird sex stuff – and he doesn’t have a ludicrously enormous - Because, quite frankly, I don’t see how that would ever fit _anywhere_ -” Levi took a breath, frustrated. “Look, I don’t know how it’s happened, but you’re here and my Erwin is – I don’t know. Wherever you came from, maybe. With your Levi.”

They stared at each other, horrified, Erwin thinking of his Levi confronted by some cold-hearted monster who _wanted_ him to kill titans, Levi unhappily contemplating the idea of a Levi who was as flirty and uninhibited as this Erwin seemed to be – and who probably also considered _not_ sleeping with everyone in the Survey Corps to be some kind of a crime.

“We have to send you back!” Levi exclaimed at exactly the same moment that Erwin cried, “I have to go back!”

Levi handed Erwin his shirt. “Get dressed. We need Hange.”


End file.
